


Within My Fantasy

by cdreaiton



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-25
Updated: 2014-09-12
Packaged: 2018-01-20 19:27:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1522805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cdreaiton/pseuds/cdreaiton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No human alive could resist the charm and allure of the Host Club’s King. And Kyouya Ootori was nothing, if not human.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Within My Fantasy

He was perfect.  Everything about him shone with an intense beauty.  His movements were more graceful than any dancer, and his voice was smoother than all the silk in the world.  The sunlight from the open window turned his golden hair into a halo, framing a face that would make an angel jealous.  And his eyes: deep seductive pools of amethyst that pulled you in and held you captive in their gaze.  No human alive could resist the charm and allure of the Host Club’s King.  And Kyouya Ootori was nothing, if not human.

 

* * *

  

He sat at his desk and stared sedately at the screen of his laptop.  Endless strings of numbers danced their beautiful dance across the page, adding zero after zero to the ending count.  This was his favorite part of the day; no more girls to entertain, costumes to wear, fights to break-up, records to keep, bills to pay, or debts to collect.  But especially, there was no more need to hide behind his mask of apathy while the person he loved fawned over countless other people and fell hopelessly in love with someone not him.  No, for now, there was just him and the never ending line of zeros.

Kyouya removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose.  As much as he hated playing the gentleman for the clients and keeping the peace between the other club members, he truly appreciated the distraction.  If not for that, he would spend the entire time just watching Tamaki.  It was easier to keep his eyes from wandering during class periods, (letting his grades slip because he was too busy mentally undressing the top student was completely unacceptable) but it posed a very serious problem during club hours.  Several times Haruhi had come up to him to ask if he was feeling well, that he seemed dazed and out of it.  He’d brushed her off with some weak excuses about not getting enough sleep and returned to what he was supposed to be doing with no one the wiser.  He hoped.  

If anyone ever found out that the third son of the Ootori family was gay, and for the heir of the Suoh family no less, his life would be over.  His family would disown him, he’d be thrown out of school and he’d lose the reputation he’d worked so hard to build.  And Tamaki?  Tamaki would hate him for the rest of his life.  Possibly longer.

He sighed and lay his head down on the desk.  Being renowned or popular or even recognized by his family wasn’t really that important to him, but losing Tamaki, even just as a friend, would destroy him.  That was why he stayed in the Host Club, forcing himself to be pleasant and sweet to the young women of the school.  The club made Tamaki happy, and it was a perfect excuse for Kyouya to spend more time with the man he loved.  Sitting back up, he replaced his glasses on his nose and got back to work on his finance report.

 

* * *

 

The skin beneath his hands began to quiver in anticipation.  He gently touched his lips to the soft flesh just under his partner’s ear and smirked pleasantly when he heard a soft moan in response.  Leaving a trail of kisses behind, he slowly kissed down the exposed abdomen until he reached the hot, straining member between his partner’s legs.  He licked along the shaft, teasing and tormenting until there was no pause between the moans of ecstasy.  Hands on his head gently urged him to move back up where soft lips enveloped his own, kissing him so passionately he could feel his own erection begin to strain.  As he pulled away from the kiss for air, his partner reached up and brushed a lock of dark hair out of his eyes.

“I love you Kyouya.”

“I know.  I love you too, Tamaki.”

 

* * *

  

BEEP!  BEEP!  BEEP!  BEEP!

Kyouya started as his alarm clock shocked him out of his dream and he leaned over and hit the off button violently.  Tossing aside his covers, he found that his dream had left him a bit more than slightly aroused.  He was about to take himself in hand to take care of the problem, when someone pounded on his door.

“Kyouya?  Suoh is here and wants to know if you’d like to ride to school together today.”  His sister was always annoyingly chipper in the mornings.

“Sure.  Tell him to wait in the parlor.  I’ll be down in a minute.”

  
After her retreating footsteps assured him she was no longer standing outside the door, Kyouya sighed and glared at his little problem, willing it away.  He thought again of taking care of it, but knew that as soon as Tamaki knew they were riding to school together he’d be up in Kyouya’s room, urging him to hurry.  And so, putting his dream behind him and grabbing his uniform, he went to take a cold shower.


	2. Haunting My Dreams

He was in hell.  Irrefutable, eternal suffering, fire and brimstone hell.  And it was all due to that conniving, infuriating, delectable Tamaki.

The day had started well enough.  A brisk, icy shower had rid him of his morning problem, and he had managed to maintain his nonchalant attitude during the entire ride to school.  Classes had been harder.  The material covered was mostly review, so Kyouya had had to be creative in order to find things to occupy his attention other than staring at Tamaki.  Unfortunately, nothing seemed to hold his interest, which gave his mind plenty of time to wander.  And wander it did; straight to his extremely erotic dream from the night before.

He could remember every detail.  The smells of sweat and sex; the sound of the sheets rustling beneath them; the feeling of skin against skin; the taste of Tamaki’s kiss.  They were all so real, so vivid.

Kyouya jerked slightly in his seat glancing hesitantly at his lap.  His little problem was back in full force.  Panic began to swirl around his mind and he made a rapid, yet discreet check to make sure no one saw.  Luckily, the other students were all too busy taking notes or daydreaming.  He breathed a quiet sigh of relief.  Catastrophe averted.  For the moment at least.  A quick glance at the clock informed him of a new problem.  The last class of the day was ending in less than five minutes.

Running a hand through his hair, he searched his mind frantically for a way to resolve the problem without bringing attention to himself or the bulge in his pants.  Three minutes.  Every option his brain popped out seemed more impossible than the last; feigning sick (the principal would call his father at work), spilling something on himself on purpose (he’d finished off the water in his water bottle at lunch), or carrying his bag in front of him (like that wouldn’t draw immediate attention to the problem).  The last plan his genius mind came up with seemed more plausible.  As soon as the bell rang he would jump up and run down the hall to the bathroom.  It really was the best option.  He could reach the restrooms down the hall before the other students even had time to collect their bags.

RING!

Kyouya swung his head up a gaped at the clock.  Damn thing was a minute slow!  Now he had no time, and no where to run.  He dropped his head on his desk silently praying everyone would just leave quietly and without bothering him.

“Kyouya!”

No such luck.

“Come on Kyouya, we’ve got to got get dressed for club activities today.  Won’t Haruhi look wonderful in her kimono?”

His heart lurched and caught in his throat.  He knew Tamaki loved Haruhi, but knowing didn’t make the pain any less.  Tilting his head slightly, he watched dejectedly as the blonde gazed off into space, lost in some fantasy about himself and Haruhi.  As his heart sank back into his chest, the tightness in his pants lessened.  Rejection, however unintentional, was an instant erection killer.

“You know she’ll never wear it.”  Sitting up, he adjusted his glasses and glared softly at his daydreaming friend.

Tamaki’s shoulders fell sharply as Kyouya’s words brought him back to reality.  “I know, but why?  Why doesn’t she wear the clothes Daddy picks out especially for her?”

Kyouya tapped the blonde head with his notebook.  “Stop being such an idiot.”

Violet eyes glinted from beneath the school papers, shining with sheepish amusement.  “Sorry.”

“Let’s go.  We’re going to be late if we keep dawdling around.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

With club activities to focus on, Kyouya’s mind didn’t have as much time to wander, and the day began to go much smoother.  For about an hour.

Hikaru had been playfully chasing Kaoru around the club room.  Kaoru swerved around a table and ran right into Tamaki, who had been showing some young ladies a flower arrangement.  The two had rolled around on the floor for a minute, trying to untangle themselves from one another.  While Kaoru had been able to right himself without difficulty, Tamaki stayed on the floor grasping his right ankle.

Kyouya had managed to clear all the clients out of the room, apologizing profusely for the inconvenience and promising that the King would be just fine and that club activities would continue the next day.  Then he and Mori had helped Tamaki down to the school doctor, where his ankle was put in a soft brace and he was given orders to take it easy for the next few days.  While the other club members headed home, Kyouya had stayed to finish up some paperwork, and Tamaki had stayed with him.

“You need to go home and rest Tamaki.  Your ankle won’t get any better if you don’t listen to the doctor’s orders.”

“I can rest just fine on the club’s couches.  Besides, I don’t want to go home.  It’s so lonely there.  I promise I won’t bother you.”

Kyouya sighed and gave in.  When it came time for the two of them to leave, Tamaki insisted on staying the night at Kyouya’s house and he gave in again.  Which was what landed him here; sitting on the floor of his bedroom, watching over the blonde as he slept in Kyouya’s bed.

Blonde locks fell softly over the innocent face.  A gentle smile graced the full, pink lips, which parted slightly as he breathed.  The rise and fall of his chest was hypnotic, and Kyouya found himself breathing in time as he stared at the broad expanse of smooth, pale, exposed skin.  Why Tamaki had felt the need to remove his shirt only the Gods knew, but Kyouya certainly wasn’t complaining.

The more he watched, the more difficult it became for him to stay away.  There he was, the object of his desires, sleeping not five feet away.  All he had to do was reach out a hand and he would feel the warmth of his skin and the softness of his hair, the very thoughts which consumed his dreams.

Quietly, cautiously, he moved closer to the sleeping beauty and gingerly brushed a strand of hair away from Tamaki’s face.  His heart began to race, threatening to beat itself out of his chest, and his pants started to feel tight.  Everything seemed surreal, as though the world had slowed down, allowing each moment to be savored.

He knew this was wrong, knew he should just pull away and run as fast as he could in the other direction, but he couldn’t.  Everything he’d ever wanted in the world was right in front of him, spread out like a feast before a beggar.  There would never be another chance like this again, and he knew it.  So why not?  Why not allow himself a little freedom, just this once?

Tamaki moaned softly in his sleep and Kyouya’s mind made itself up.  He gently leaned over the blonde and breathed deeply.  Tamaki’s scent washed over him, filling him with emotions he’d never even imagined existed, and any last amount of hesitation vanished.  A few more inches and he would finally feel the softness of Tamaki’s lips on his own.

At that moment, violet eyes opened, sleepily gazing into his own black ones.

“Kyouya?” This was it.  It was all over now.  He was about to lose everything he cared about all because he couldn’t control his teenage hormones.

“Kyouya?  What are you doing?”

His mind flew threw excuses at a mile a minute.  “I...You were talking in your sleep.  When I came to check on you I thought you might be feverish, so I was about to check, but then you woke up.”  Kyouya sent out a prayer to any and every deity who would listen that Tamaki would accept his excuse.

The blonde blinked at him for a moment before smiling softly.  “I’m sorry to have worried you.  I’m just fine, see?”

Kyouya froze as Tamaki sat up, closing the distance between them and pressing his forehead against him.  The coolness of Tamaki’s skin was made extremely apparent by the heat of his own.  Tamaki pulled back and fixed him with a worried stare.

“I think you’re the one with the fever, Kyouya.  Maybe you should rest too.”

“I’m fine.  You just lay back down.  I’m going to see about having dinner brought up here.”

Tamaki smiled thankfully and lay back down as Kyouya hurried out of his room, berating himself for being so foolishly careless.  He’d let his emotions get away from him, and it had almost cost him everything.  Never again.  He was going to have to be much more careful from now on.


	3. Encompassing My Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyouya's dream makes another appearance, and Tamaki notices Kyouya's strange behavior.

Dinner had been a rather quiet affair.  Well, as quiet as any length of time can be when one is around the perpetually energetic Tamaki Suoh.  The blonde had spent a good portion of the nearly two hour meal talking about ideas he had for some new club activities.  The one at the top of Tamaki’s list (and at the bottom of Kyouya’s), was a westernized Christmas party.  Tamaki and Haruhi would of course play the part of Mr. and Mrs. Clause while the other host club members spent their time in pointy hats and shoes.  Kyouya had let his friend babble about the idea for some time, content to simply ignore the proposition, until the constant repetition of “Wouldn’t my little Haruhi look so cute?!” finally broke him.

“Tamaki, that’s enough.  The idea is nice, but we already have an extremely elaborate party planned for New Years, and then we have your kotatsu gathering after that.  Adding another holiday party would make things too complicated.  Now, I might be convinced to speak to Renge about doing a Christmas photo album or something of the like, but an entire party is too much.  Especially since we would be asking our guests to fly back to the school from their holiday vacations."

Tamaki’s face fell and the famous pout began to show on his lips.  Kyouya sighed internally and braced himself for the teary meltdown that always followed one of his ‘never going to happen’ statements.  He closed his eyes against the face he knew he could never refuse and waited.  And waited.  And waited.  After nearly half a minute of silence from the other side of the table, Kyouya opened his eyes and looked at the blonde.  The amethyst eyes that met his held a question that made them look almost, hard.  Kyouya gulped softly.

“Kyouya, why do you hate Haruhi?”

The bluntness of the unexpected question caused Kyouya to reel slightly.  His brain was quick with an answer though.  It was simple, how could he hate Haruhi when the girl brought in nothing but profit?

“Why do you love her?”  Now if only his brain was quicker than his mouth.

Now it was Tamaki’s turn to reel.  The blonde recovered faster than Kyouya had.

“Because she is my daughter, silly!  She’s smart and clever, she looks out for other people even when they don’t appreciate it, she’s kind and understanding, she likes people for who they are and not for what family they’re from or how much money they have, and she’s one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen, even when she dresses like a boy.”  The amethyst eyes lost their hard look and became hazy as Tamaki listed off the desirable qualities in his friend.

Kyouya’s heart fell to the floor and shattered into pieces.  He may have been smart, and clever, and extremely attractive to his peers, but his day began and ended with the bottom line.  And Tamaki knew that.  Hearing the blonde talk about how much he loved the qualities in Haruhi that he himself would never posses, broke something deep inside of him.

The hazy look began to leave Tamaki’s eyes as he turned to face Kyouya, expecting a response.  Kyouya’s brain took over and gave him one.

“See?  With so many things to like about her, how could you possibly think I hate her?”  Kyouya pushed his glasses up his nose and gave Tamaki and stern look.   The amethyst eyes lit up with agreement.

“I know!!  She is so wonderful that not even the sun can outshine her…”  While Tamaki continued on in his typical exaggerated fashion, Kyouya began to clear away the dishes from their meal.  He knew he could call a maid to do it and save himself the work, but it kept his hands busy, his mind on something that wasn’t what Tamaki was saying, and his face from showing just how hurt he truly was.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It was the same dream as before.  Every moment just as divine as the last.  He could feel the heat of Tamaki’s breath as he nibbled at the pale flesh of the blonde’s neck.  Every nerve in his body exploded in pleasure when he felt soft hands begin to slide across his thighs, inching ever nearer to the aching member that stood erect between them.  Kyouya mirrored the blonde’s movements and found his goal, slick and dripping in anticipation and need.  He gently stroked up and down the straining shaft, causing Tamaki to arch into his hands, moaning breathlessly.

The sound struck a chord within Kyouya.  His hands began stroking faster, curling around Tamaki’s cock and massaging the length as his lips continued working on the neck beneath him.  When he felt the blonde begin to climax, he bit softly into Tamaki’s flesh and gave the member in his hands one last, long stroke, causing Tamaki to scream as he released.

As the blonde screamed, Kyouya’s blood ran cold.  Fear and pain struck him in the face like ice water, his entire body stiffening as the echo of Tamaki’s scream died away.  There was nothing in the entirety of this world that could hurt him as much as that single word had.

Haruhi.

Tamaki’s scream had been for Haruhi.

He couldn’t breathe.  The world seemed to have stopped turning as silence filled the room following the Tamaki’s scream.  If his heart hadn’t been beating so furiously, he would have thought it had stopped all together.  He sat there, heart pounding, breath coming in shallow gasps, as his entire universe came apart at the seams.  Everything he wanted in life, every hope, every dream, every action and non-action, every breath and every yen he ever earned all revolved around the man before him.  The man he would never, ever have.

His heart began to slow as the realization that his only source of happiness was out of his reach.  Forever.  What point was there to money if he couldn’t use it to light the fire behind those violet eyes?  Why bother dreaming if every dream lacked the silvery ring of the blonde’s laugh?  What reason did he have to live if Tamaki would not be by his side.

Just as he was about to abandon all hope and let despair overwhelm him, he heard something.  At first, he thought he had imagined it, it was so quiet.  Then he heard it again.  Louder this time, but not quite loud enough to make out.  The sound echoed through his head one more time.  And this time he heard it loud and clear.

Kyouya.

 

 

* * *

 

 

His eyes shot open as he woke from his dream with a violent spasm.  He tried to sit up, but something heavy kept his body from moving.  There was a dim light in the room, but without his glasses, everything was a blur.  Cold metal pressed into his hand as his body shook from the emotional repercussions of the dream.  After a few tries, he managed to get his glasses on and he looked up at the source of the weight on his chest.  Amethyst eyes bored into him, their worry and concern causing Kyouya to flinch slightly. 

“Are you alright now?”  Tamaki’s voice was calm, but there was a slight edge to it.  After a few attempts at a deep breath Kyouya found his voice.

“I would be a lot better if I could breathe.”  The corner of his mouth went up in a feeble attempt at at smile.  Tamaki sighed, but did not return the smile as he began removing himself from his position of sitting on Kyouya’s chest.

Kyouya sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, his back to the blond.  He took a couple deep breaths, stood, and headed toward the bathroom to splash cold water on his face.  The water felt like ice on his skin, rousing his senses and driving the last visages of the haunting dream from his mind.  He took a moment to run a hand through his hair before returning to his room where he knew he would be facing a thousand questions from his friend.

Black hair now less frazzled, Kyouya walked into the bedroom and tried to ignore the pointed stare Tamaki was giving him.  No such luck.

“I’m fine Tamaki.  It was just a bad dream.  Now I’d like to try and salvage what little of the night is left and get some sleep.  You should go back to bed too and rest your leg.  You wouldn’t want to aggravate it and end up having to miss club activities tomorrow would you?”  Fearing Tamaki would see the lie in his eyes, Kyouya climbed back into his bed and pulled the covers over himself, making certain he was facing away from the blond.

Kyouya felt rather than saw Tamaki leave the bed, and he missed his friends presence immediately.  But Tamaki didn’t stay absent for long.  After only a few moments the silence was harshly interrupted.

“Just how stupid do you think I am?!”  Tamaki’s voice was hard and angry as his ripped the covers out of Kyouya’s hands and off the bed, leaving the black haired boy in shock, lying on a bare sheet.  He scrambled to find a response.

“Stupid?  What are you...”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”

Something in Tamaki’s voice made Kyouya turn and look at the boy standing at the end of his bed.  Tamaki’s eyes were cold and unforgiving, and his breath was short and ragged with rage.  The usually cheerful demeanor was gone, and it had left nothing of itself behind.  Kyouya’s heart raced in his chest, but he didn’t dare say anything.  After a few moments of silence, Tamaki sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair before sinking into the desk chair behind him and dropping his head into his hands.  Kyouya blinked rapidly at the sudden change.  Just as he was about to open his mouth to try and explain the situation away, Tamaki spoke again.

“You really think you have everyone fooled don’t you?  The idea that your little secret is already out has never even crossed your mind has it?”

A little light began to flicker at the back of Kyouya’s mind and his blood ran cold with fear as the whole situation began to make sense.  Awful, terrible sense.  His mind was so overwhelmed that he simply stared at his sheets in silence.

“You were moaning my name in your sleep.”

Kyouya’s entire body froze as the implications of what Tamaki was saying became clear.  Tamaki knew.  He knew.  It was over.  His entire life was about to come crashing down around him.  He gripped the sheets beneath him tightly, praying that he was still dreaming, but knowing in his heart that this was all too real.

The silence in the room dragged on for minutes.  Kyouya continued to stare at his sheets, his usually sharp mind devoid of all thoughts but panic and despair.

“Say something.”  Tamaki’s usually cheerful voice was so empty of emotion it sounded foreign.

At Tamaki’s words, the excuses and reasonings began to fly around Kyouya’s mind.  But he pushed them all back.  He knew that there was nothing he could say or do at this point to change what was going to happen.  After this conversation, Tamaki would never speak to him again.  Even if Tamaki never told anyone, even if it remained a secret between the two of them for the rest of eternity, Kyouya’s life would be over.  He had lost the only thing he had ever cared about.  And with nothing else to lose, he spoke.

“I love you, Tamaki.  I’ve always loved you.  I know that it’s wrong and that I shouldn’t be having these feelings but...I do.  I love you.”  Kyouya bit his lip and took a deep breath.  “I know you don’t want to hear this, but I can’t...no...I won’t change how I feel.  I understand if you hate me, and I’ll leave the club if you want me to.  But I won’t pretend anymore.  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry for betraying you, for hurting you...for loving you.”

As he finished speaking, Kyouya noticed that Tamaki had moved from where he had been sitting at the desk, and was now standing beside the bed, a mere yard away from Kyouya.  Bracing himself, Kyouya looked up and met the amethyst gaze.  It was cold, filled with anger and pain.  Tamaki’s body shook with emotion, and he raised his hand and pulled it back.  Kyouya closed his eyes and braced himself for the impact of the slap.  But it never came.

After a few moments, Kyouya opened his eyes again and looked up at Tamaki.  His arm had fallen to his side, and his head was bowed.  As Kyouya watched, tiny drops began to fall from Tamaki’s lowered face to the floor.  Kyouya’s eyes widened in shock.  Tamaki was crying.  Without thinking, Kyouya reached out a hand to the blonde.

“Tamaki, I…”

“You’re sorry?  You’re SORRY?!”  Tamaki’s voice was so full of rage that Kyouya felt a twinge of fear, and flinched backward, pulling his hand to his chest.  Raising his head, Tamaki glowered at Kyouya, and his voice dropped to a near whisper.  “You’re sorry?  Really?”

Unsure of how or what to say in answer, Kyouya simply lowered his head and nodded shortly, feeling the tears beginning to well in his own eyes.  He had thought he was prepared for the pain of rejection, but the intensity of the hollow feeling inside him was more than he could bear.

“In that case…”

Kyouya felt a hand on his chin, and raised his head.  Before he could react, he felt a pair of soft lips cover his own for the briefest of moments, before they pulled away.  As his brain processed what had happened, Kyouya’s heart skipped more than a couple beats, and he looked up at Tamaki in a daze.

  
“I’m sorry too.”  Tamaki’s voice was soft and laced with pain.  And without another word, Tamaki released Kyouya’s chin, and walked towards the door.


	4. Within My Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotions come to a head. Words are said, but are they enough?

Kyouya sat on the edge of his bed in shock, watching as Tamaki grabbed the handle of the bedroom door.  As he heard the click of the latch, Kyouya jumped from the bed and rushed to the door, pushing a hand against it, keeping it closed.  His heart beat was loud in his ears, and his breath was quick and shallow as he leaned over Tamaki, his chest nearly touching his friend’s back.  Tamaki kept his grip on the door handle, but didn’t make any move to try and yank the door open.

Forcing himself to take a deep breath, Kyouya reached up with the hand not keeping the door closed and set it over top of Tamaki’s on the handle.  He leaned forward until he felt Tamaki’s back against his chest, and rested his head against Tamaki’s hair.  Kyouya shut his eyes tightly, breathing in Tamaki’s scent.  The blond smelled of sunlight and lavender, and the aroma calmed Kyouya’s nerves as he tried to organize his thoughts.  The two of them stood there, unmoving, for a long moment.  Then Tamaki spoke.

“Why are you sorry?”  His voice was barely more than a whisper.

Kyouya thought for a moment before answering.  He still wasn’t sure what the kiss meant, and his mind was a jumble of incoherent thoughts.  Taking a few more deep breaths, he tightened his grip on Tamaki’s hand.

“Because I thought you would hate it, would hate me for it.  I’m your friend, and I’m a guy.  It’s wrong.”  Kyouya’s normal eloquence eluded him as he replied.

Tamaki sighed heavily beneath Kyouya’s weight, and lifted his hand from the door handle.  When Kyouya moved his own hand away, Tamaki pulled it back, cradling it against his chest.  Kyouya could feel Tamaki’s heart beating rapidly beneath his hand.

“I don’t hate you.  I could never hate you.  Because…” Tamaki’s voice caught in his throat and Kyouya felt a tear fall onto his arm. “Because I love you too.”

The silence in the dark room was deafening as Kyouya’s mind went into overload, trying to process what he’d just heard.  Tamaki loved him?  He felt the heart beneath his palm beat faster as a few more warm tears dropped onto his skin.  The body in his arms shook slightly as Tamaki’s tears came faster, and he heard the blonde stifle a sob.

“I’ve loved you for a long time.  Since the first time you took me out to see Japan.  I know that your father told you to keep me happy because I’m the Suoh heir, but you never once made me feel like I was a burden or a chore.  You made me feel wanted and needed for the first time since I’d left my mother. And I...hicc...I can’t tell you h-how much that meant to me.”

Tamaki took several deep shuddering breaths, steadying his voice.  Kyouya, unsure of what to say, dropped his hand from the door and wrapped it around Tamaki’s waist, pulling the blonde closer to him.  He squeezed gently, trying to calm Tamaki’s tears, while simultaneously stifling his own.  Knowing that he would break down if he tried to talk now, and hearing determination in Tamaki’s breaths, Kyouya knew the other was not finished speaking.  And so he stood, arms wrapped around Tamaki, waiting for him to continue.  After a few more halted breaths, Tamaki did, renewed strength lacing his words.

“I wanted to tell you, to let you know how I felt, but the timing never seemed right.  Studying for exams kept us busy during the school days, and even when we went on vacations or trips, there were always too many distractions, or too many people around.  So, one day, I made a decision.  If I couldn’t tell you with words, I would just have to show you.”

“…The piano…”  Kyouya muttered quietly, squeezing Tamaki a little tighter.

Tamaki nodded in afirmation.

“It was the only way I could think of.  So I played.  I when I saw the look in your eyes, I knew that you felt the same way about me as I did about you.  But I also knew, that you had to come to terms with your feelings on your own.  If I had confessed to you then, you would have pushed me away in a rejection of your own feelings, and I would have lost you.  So I waited.  But that look in your eyes never returned, and I started to worry that I had only imagined it.  I played the piano every time I came over, inched closer when we studied, insisted on going more places, spending every possible moment I could with you…but the look never came back.”  Tamaki’s voice faded into a whisper, and another tear fell onto Kyouya’s arm.  But before he could respond, Tamaki continued.  “I became desperate.  I had to know whether what I saw was real or not.  So I came up with the dumbest plan I’d ever concocted.  And that was when I asked you to make the Host Club with me.”  Kyouya started slightly.  Tamaki felt it, and stiffened slightly in response, but he pushed on, forcing the words out.  “I thought that if you saw how romantic I was, how alluring and…s-s-sexy I could be, that it would make you realize how much you wanted to be with me.  Heh…heheh…at the very least…hicc…I hoped it would make you jealous seeing me fawn over all those girls every day.”  Hysterical sobs threatened to overwhelm Tamaki, and he pulled his hand away from Kyouya’s arm, placing it over his face as he struggled to maintain control of his emotions.  “I’m such a coward.”  Tamaki lost the battle with his tears, and several choked, tear-filled sobs escaped.

Kyouya was at a complete loss.  To think, that Tamaki had been struggling just as much as he had!  Not only that, but that everything he had done over the last two and a half years, possibly longer, was just so that Kyouya would notice him, and love him.  Even the Host Club, which had given Tamaki a family, and put more smiles on the blonde’s face then anything else ever had, was nothing more than a last ditch attempt to get Kyouya’s attention.  The very idea that someone would go that far nearly made Kyouya laugh.  But he knew that laughter would be the wrong response right now, and he didn’t want Tamaki to think he was laughing at him.  But before Kyouya could think of what an appropriate response would be, he heard the sharp intake of breath that informed him that Tamaki’s story was not over just yet.

“Last year, when we did the Sakura Viewing Party for the first time…I saw it again.  That look in your eyes.  You were watching me serve tea over the top of that notebook you’re always writing in.  You looked away so quickly, I wasn’t sure I’d really seen it.  But then I saw it again while the girls were switching.  As soon as you saw me notice you, you looked away, but I was positive I’d seen it that time.  I realized that you were trying to keep your feelings hidden from me, so I learned how to watch you without you noticing.  And that’s when I figured it out.  You’d been looking at me the whole time, I just hadn’t been able to see it.  But now that I knew…” The excitement that had been building in Tamaki’s voice faded and his shoulders slumped.  “I couldn’t do anything.  I knew I had to wait for you to come to me.  But it was torture.  When the school year ended and you still hadn’t said anything, I gathered my courage and decided that I would tell you during summer vacation, when it was just the two of us.  But then you left for Hokkaido on your own, and told me you wanted to be alone so you could study in peace.  I nearly gave up right then.  The thought that I was in the way of your dreams, that I was just a nuisance you were putting up with for your family’s sake…it nearly broke me.”

Kyouya gasped quietly as this revelation.  He remembered going to his family’s villa in Hokkaido that summer, but it hadn’t been for the reasons Tamaki thought.  He had gone alone because he had been afraid that if he were alone with Tamaki, away from the prying eyes of teachers, classmates and family, that he would lose what little self control he had and do something unforgivable.  It had never occurred to him that what he had said would wound Tamaki so badly.  Kyouya opened his mouth to explain and apologize, but Tamaki shook his head, the fine blonde hair tickling Kyouya’s lips, shushing him.

“I realized later why you must have done it.  You needed time to process your emotions away from the pressures of society.  But the knowledge didn’t make it hurt any less.  When you returned, you looked at me, and for the first time I saw the desire and the love in your eyes.  You were looking at me, right at me!  And I knew I wouldn’t have to wait for much longer.  But then…Haruhi joined the club, and I, being the idiot that I am, didn’t notice that she was a girl.  Even after I figured it out, I couldn’t help but play the doting father, something I never had.  And when I saw the way you reacted to my ‘advances’ on Haruhi…heheh...seeing you seething in jealousy felt like a kind of payback for making me wait so long.”  Tamaki sighed heavily, his breath still shaking from repressed tears.  “By the time I realized that my actions were driving you further away, I was afraid it was too late.  And then, when you asked me why I loved her at dinner last night…I saw the pain in your eyes at my words, and I truly thought I had lost you.”  A hand reached up and squeezed the hand Kyouya had on Tamaki’s chest.  “But then…hicc-hicc…you called for me in your sleep, you moaned.  For me!  And when I confronted you, you didn’t hide from me.  You told me you loved me!  I had been waiting so long to hear those words, spent so many sleepless nights fantasizing about how it would feel, what it would mean and…what we would do after.”  Tamaki’s voice caught in his throat as he whispered the last part, but he took a deep breath through his nose and continued on.  “I was elated.  I had never felt such joy as I did when I heard those three little words.  I wanted to push you down to the bed and kiss you with all the built up desire from the past two years.  But as I reached out my hand, your words stopped me.  ‘I’m sorry for loving you.’  I thought I could handle anything, even rejection…but regret?  I wasn’t ready for that.  I love you, and I want to be with you, but I don’t want you to regret being with me.  If that’s how you really feel then I’ll…”

“I don’t!”  The anger and pain in Kyouya’s voice surprised even him, and caused Tamaki to jump slightly.  Kyouya was past the point of thinking logically at this point, and he just let the words flow.  “I don’t regret a single moment I’ve spent with you, and I never will!  The only thing I regret is my own stupid, stubborn pride that prevented me from telling you sooner.  I love you.  I love you.  I love you!”  With each repetition of the phrase Kyouya’s arms around Tamaki tightened.  “I love you.  I love you.  I love you.  I love you.  I love you.”  As he continued the mantra, Kyouya felt all the anguish, all the fear, all the torment of the last few years leave his body through the words, and his voice began to trail off, until the words became a mumbled mess of sound.  “I love you.  So please…please don’t leave me…please.”  Kyouya’s voice was so soft as he pleaded, that Tamaki almost didn’t hear him.  Almost.

When he felt Tamaki shift his body weight, Kyouya realized he was holding the blonde in a death grip, and released him.  Tamaki turned, put his hands behind Kyouya’s head, and pulled him down into a fierce kiss.  The passion and desire in the kiss caught Kyouya off guard and he gasped.  Tamaki took the opportunity and slipped his tongue into Kyouya’s mouth, running it over the other boys tongue.  Kyouya responded in kind, twirling his tongue around Tamaki’s, before biting him lightly on the lip.  With a moan, Tamaki deepened the kiss even further, and this time it was Kyouya’s turn to moan.

Kyouya reached his hands around Tamaki and gripped the blonde’s rump, yanking him forward and grinding his erection into the other boy’s hips.  Tamaki broke free of the kiss and threw his head back, gasping and moaning loudly at the pleasurable sensation.  As he heard the sound of Tamaki’s moans, Kyouya lost the last shred of control he had.  With a sudden rush of movement, he pulled Tamaki towards the bed and pushed him down onto his back.  The sight of Tamaki laying on his bed, flushed and gasping for breath nearly made Kyouya come right there.  He bit his lip, forcing himself to calm down, and climbed onto the bed, straddling Tamaki.

With more care and slowness than he wanted, Kyouya unbuttoned Tamaki’s pajama shirt, planting kisses on the pale flesh as he opened the fabric.  When he had dealt with the last button, Kyouya began kissing along the top of Tamaki’s pants.  Tamaki gripped the sheets beneath him, arching into Kyouya, wanting more.  Kyouya smirked and continued with his teasing kisses.

“Be patient.”  Kyouya’s low sultry voice and hot breath against Tamaki’s exposed skin made the blonde ache with need.

“I’ve been patient.  I’m…nnghh…tired of being patient.  Hurry.  Please.”  Tamaki opened eyes he hadn’t realized he’d closed, and looked down at Kyouya.  Black eyes met amethyst, and the amount of love that shone in those pairs of eyes nearly overwhelmed them both.  “I need you.”

Kyouya pulled himself back up to Tamaki and slammed their lips together, while his hands pushed Tamaki’s pajama pants and underwear out of the way.  A part of his mind told him to take it slow, make their first time something special and memorable, but another part of him was tired of waiting, tired of playing it safe.  Luckily, Kyouya still had enough presence of mind not to attempt to thrust into Tamaki dry.

Removing his lips from Tamaki’s Kyouya quickly replaced them with his fingers, stroking Tamaki’s tongue while his other hand began to stroke somewhere much lower.  Tamaki sucked and nibbled at the proffered fingers, unconsciously thrusting his hips into Kyouya’s hand as he did so.  When his fingers were dripping with saliva, Kyouya pulled them from Tamaki’s mouth, smirking wickedly when the blonde whimpered at the loss.

“So greedy.”  Kyouya voice dripped with lust as he kissed Tamaki’s neck, sucking at an especially sensitive spot just beneath the blonde’s ear.

“That’s because I…nnnggh…I-I want you.  Please hu…ngghh…hurry.”  The lilt in Tamaki’s voice as he tried to speak through his moans made Kyouya’s cock jump.

Moving down, Kyouya licked and kissed at Tamaki’s chest.  He pushed Tamaki’s legs apart with his knees, and brought his wet fingers to the puckered entrance they had been hiding.  As he circled the tense, muscled flesh, wetting it in preparation, Kyouya circled one of Tamaki’s nipples with his tongue.  Kyouya slowly pushed the first finger inside, biting down lightly on the tiny nub in his mouth as he did so.  Tamaki bucked into his mouth, his hips pulling away from the intrusion into his ass, but Kyouya continued to push until the entire finger was inside.  He pulled out just as slowly as he had pushed in, waiting until he was nearly out completely before thrusting in once again, this time with more speed.  The bulge in Kyouya’s pants was past the point of being uncomfortable at this point, and from the look on Tamaki’s face, he knew neither of them was going to last long if he didn’t hurry up.

Adding another finger, Kyouya thrust both digits into Tamaki’s ass, scissoring them as he went, Tamaki’s moans and gasps of pleasure spurring him on.  After a few moments Kyouya added a third, but was only able to thrust them in a couple of times before he felt his control slipping.  He yanked his fingers out with more force than he meant to, causing Tamaki’s breath to catch mid-moan.  Kyouya quickly shed his pants and underwear, throwing them onto the floor with no regard for where they landed.

He smeared his pre-cum onto his painfully hard cock, and knelt between Tamaki’s legs, pulling the blonde’s hips into his lap.  Lining himself up, he looked down into those amethyst eyes for one last confirmation.  Tamaki smiled, a more genuine smile than Kyouya had even seen on the boy’s face, and reached up, pulling Kyouya’s head down and pressing their lips together.  As their lips connected Kyouya pushed into Tamaki, swallowing the small scream and distracting the blonde with his tongue.  Tamaki’s fingers gripped Kyouya’s hair as the much larger intrusion of Kyouya’s cock stretched him open.

It was painful, much more painful than Tamaki had imagined, but there was an underlying sweetness, a promise of pleasures to come mixed into the pain.  Tamaki distracted himself from the near agony by losing himself in Kyouya’s kisses.  He briefly wondered how such an inexperienced person could be so good, before Kyouya pinched his nipples and drove such thoughts from his mind.

Once he was fully buried inside Tamaki, Kyouya stopped, checking his partner for any sign of pain or distress.  He brushed a lock of damp blonde hair out of Tamaki’s eyes and kissed the sweaty forehead.

“I love you Tamaki.  More than I could ever say.”

Tamaki reached up and grabbed one of Kyouya’s hands, interlacing their fingers.

“I love you too, Kyouya.  I…I want to stay by your side forever.”  The tremble in Tamaki’s voice brought tears to Kyouya’s eyes, and he gently kissed the soft lips beneath him as a single dropped rolled down his cheek.  He pulled back and cupped Tamaki’s face in his hand.

“It’s a promise.”

Tears fell from Tamaki’s eyes and he grabbed Kyouya around the shoulders, holding him close.  Wrapping his own arms around Tamaki’s back, Kyouya began to thrust slowly into the blonde, each thrust faster than the last.  Kyouya slid one of his hands from Tamaki’s back and around to the straining erection at the boys front.  He stroked Tamaki’s cock in time with his own thrusts, which were continuing to pick up speed.  His movements were encouraged as Tamaki’s moans filled the bedroom and echoed off the walls.  Kyouya was certain someone could hear them, but he found that he quite literally couldn’t care less.

When Tamaki’s moans got faster and closer together, Kyouya knew he was quickly reaching climax.  He thrust harder and faster, his hand pumping wildly, trying to match the almost animalistic thrusts.  Tamaki threw his head back and screamed suddenly as the white hot liquid of his release spurted out, landing in long, thin lines on his chest.  The sound sent Kyouya over the edge and he sunk his teeth into the tender flesh of Tamaki’s neck, and roughly thrust one last time, before he too released, the sheer power of his climax causing his entire body to shake.

Once the last of the violent spasms had left him, Kyouya lowered the now limp Tamaki onto the bed, before collapsing beside him.  The two lie there, panting heavily in exhaustion and waiting for their bodies to calm down.  Kyouya recovered first, and pulled Tamaki into his arms, headless of the mess.  He pressed his face into the blonde hair and planted a light kiss on the top of Tamaki’s head.

  
“I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end! Sorry for the huge delay in updating, but life has a tendency to refuse to be ignored. Hope you enjoyed the story!


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